Seto's Email and the wrong person
by Serina Onigiri Jaganshi
Summary: Seto gets an e-mail from Yami Bakura. What is it??
1. Fun with email!

DISCLAIMER: ME NO OWN YGO!  
  
**************************************************************************** ************************  
  
One morning Seto Kaiba decided to go online and check his mail. He was reading a letter when he stopped to go 2 the next one but instead of opening it he just started say every profanity word he knew.  
  
SETO: DAMMIT! NOT ANOTHER ONE!  
  
SETO HAD RECIVED A CHAIN LETTER..... FROM Y. BAKURA!!......  
  
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar Alfut Jetallama. I am suffering from many rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.  
  
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every hooker I see! What a bunch of bullshit.  
  
So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Caesar in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2002, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.  
  
Fuck them!  
  
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a Nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are all you're contributing to is your own unpopularity  
  
SETO: Hmmmmm..*thinking* YAH!  
  
Seto was mad but he had an idea. He was gonna get back at Y.Bakura. Seto made his own little chain letter and sent it to..........THE WRONG PERSON! Unfortunately he didn't realize it because Mokuba was trying to call and order a hooker to come to their house.......... @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
One day, Yugi woke Yami up.  
  
Yugi: Hey Yami! *shakes him*  
  
Yami: *groggily* What?  
  
Yugi: You have an E-mail from Seto Kaiba!  
  
Yami: *gets up & rushes to computer * I do?  
  
Yugi: Yup!  
  
Yami looks at the computer screen and reads the E-mail from Seto.........  
  
(scroll down)  
  
Make a wish!!!  
  
Keep Scrolling  
  
No, really, go on and make one!!!  
  
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!  
  
Wish something else!!!  
  
Not that, you pervert!!  
  
STOP!!!!  
  
Wasn't that fun? :)  
  
Hope you made a great wish :)  
  
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5,096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.  
  
It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:  
  
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.  
  
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.  
  
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot of some evil scheme to end your life.  
  
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will bomb your house. Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!  
  
Yami: GRRRRRRRR!  
  
Yami was pissed! So, he made a chain letter..and..sent...it..to...THE WRONG PERSON!! Like Seto, he didn't realize it because he had to keep Yugi from hitting himself with a large mallet....  
  
One morning, Joey woke up and realized he was alone at his house so he decided to get onto his dads computer.  
  
Joey: Hey! I got an e-mail from Yugi!  
  
He read the e-mail...........................  
  
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no clothes, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Parentless Pantless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund (LSLAPPGBBF).  
  
Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.  
  
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.  
  
Thanks again!!  
  
Joey: O__o Ummmmm....Ooookaaaay.  
  
So for fun Joey made a chain letter .... and ... sent.. it....to....THE WRONG PERSON!! But, like Yugi & Seto, he didn't realize it cause his sister Serenity just walked into the door and was reading a playgirl magazine.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
One day Tea Gardener got home from school and got online to do some research when she realized she had an email from Joey.  
  
Tea: I wonder if he wants to meet somewhere.....  
  
So she read his letter........  
  
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no computer or email then, let alone stupid forwards, and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.  
  
So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:  
  
*Bizarre Horror Story #1  
  
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!  
  
*Bizarre Horror Story #2  
  
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.  
  
This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like Miranda and Dexter. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.  
  
Tea: Is this some kind of joke?  
  
So Tea made a poem..and..sent...it..to..THE WRONG PERSON!!  
  
But, like the others, she didn't notice it because she fell backwards in her chair and the computer fell on top of her making the screen shatter instantly.  
  
**************************************************************************** *******************  
  
Tristan was playing GTA3 when he got an email...  
  
Tristan: Yah! I knew Tea thought I was hott!  
  
So he read the mail........  
  
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.  
  
Send it to all your friends.  
  
FRIENDS:  
  
A friend is someone who is always at your side.  
  
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of poo, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood.  
  
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a baboon.  
  
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself.  
  
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad, pathetic life.  
  
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.  
  
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry that's my cleaning lady.  
  
A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because she wants her wish of being rich, hot, and popular to come true.  
  
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again! Even if you've never had sex, you'll still never have it again!  
  
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda or Dexter. Right?  
  
Tristan: Who in the hell is Miranda and Dexter? And how does Tea know I've had sex?!  
  
Tristan was a LITTLE upset so he made a warning and called it badtimes....and.....he....sent...it...to...THE WRONG PERSON!! But he didn't realize it cause he spilled coke on the key board and was electrocuted.(a/n: he didn't die!)  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Grandpa was yapping to Yugi, who was asleep, about the "Heart of the Cards"  
  
when he got an email.....called badtimes...  
  
Grandpa: I'M LOVED! ^_________________________^  
  
Yugi: -________-UUUU  
  
So he read it...................  
  
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not  
  
open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.  
  
  
  
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will  
also  
  
delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It  
  
demagnetizes  
  
the  
  
strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access  
  
code,  
  
screws  
  
up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to  
  
scratch  
  
any  
  
CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto-dial to  
call  
  
only  
  
900  
  
numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL  
  
CAUSE  
  
YOUR  
  
TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer.  
  
FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on  
  
the  
  
coffee  
  
table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo  
  
with  
  
Nair  
  
and  
  
your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your current  
  
boy/girlfriend  
  
behind  
  
your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It  
  
will  
  
cause  
  
you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun  
  
until  
  
someone loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all  
  
your  
  
active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable  
  
misspellings  
  
which  
  
grossly change the interpretations of key sentences. If the  
"Badtimes"  
  
message  
  
opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat  
  
up  
  
and  
  
leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.  
  
It  
  
will  
  
not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows,  
  
it  
  
will  
  
also  
  
refill your skim milk with whole milk.  
  
  
  
******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN.*******  
  
  
  
If you don't send this to 5000 people within 20 seconds  
  
you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight  
  
out  
  
in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person  
  
nearest you.  
  
And Grandpa went NUTS causing him to fart, lose his leg, and set Yugi on  
fire.  
  
THE END  
  
(based on a real e-mail)  
  
Please R&R! 


	2. More fun, less email!

Serina: Hello again!! Thank you all my fabulous reviewers!! BloodiedAngel you are on my favorite list w/ Yami Chip and others!!  
  
Mia: Unfortunately, Serina needs your help!  
  
Serina: Yah! I'm fresh out of ideas.....  
  
Y/B: NOOOOOOO!!! I want more!!! Must have more!!!!  
  
Seto: HALLELUYA! (a/n: can't spell so all you English teachers better leave)  
  
English teachers:*do as their told *  
  
Y/s (my yami): Grrrrr.DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!!! (a/n: Hiei's trademark move!! don't own...)  
  
Seto & the teachers: X________X *meep*  
  
Mia: Poor brother. N E ways look if you wanna help Serina, just clap your hands!! (a/n: I don't own Peter Pan)  
  
All: 0____0UUU  
  
Mia: For real this time, just e-mail your ideas to her and you can even get your own name put in the story!!  
  
Serina: I know this isn't much of a chapter but please bare with me..I just ate raw chicken! (a/n:I'm not kidding! Damn you Sonny's!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Dr.Suess, the name "Sex Raptor", or The Wizard of Oz.  
  
*Last we left Yugi and his grandpa..*  
  
Yugi: AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAT!!! (a/n: in case you don't know, that red & black thing, yup, it's a hat)  
  
Grandpa:*looking for his leg*  
  
Tea:*walks in wrapped in bandages* (read ch1) Hey Yugi did y- *is cut off because Yugi runs into her extinguishing the flame on him but making her catch on fire*  
  
Yugi: YAY! *hugs his scorched hat*And don't you ever EVER worry mommy about you again!  
  
Hat: Yes momma! I love you! *kisses Yugi*  
  
Tea:*screaming like mini me* EEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
*Meanwhile at Duelist Kingdom...*  
  
Pegusus:*walks up to Rex Raptor* Are you my mother??  
  
Sex Raptor: No boy! I aint yo momma! Hey,wait a sec! My name's not "Sex Raptor"!!!!  
  
Serina: *poofs out of nowhere* Oops, typo!  
  
Some Rex Fan: Or is it??? *flutters eyelashes*  
  
Serina: SICK!!!  
  
Rex: What? So a girl likes me!  
  
Serina: That's not a girl Rex..that's Weevil Underwood!!  
  
SRF:*takes off costume* I LOVE YOU!!!!!  
  
Rex: AAAAAAH! *runs away*  
  
Weevil: Damn.  
  
*Back at Seto's place*  
  
Mokuba:*hears some disturbing noises upstairs* What the hell is brother up to??  
  
*Above him, he can hear Seto's voice...*  
  
Seto: Ohhhhhhhhhhh! YES! MMMMMMMMMM... Ohhhhhhhh! Sooooooooo delicious!! MMMMMM!!  
  
*Mokuba goes upstairs to find.*  
  
Seto: YES! I LOVE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL CHEESE PIZZA!! MUHHAHAHAHHAHAAA!!  
  
Mokuba: o____oUUUUUUU  
  
*At the game shop.*  
  
Grandpa: Yay! I found my leg!!  
  
Tea:*off somewhere still on fire* EEEEEEEEEEEE!!  
  
Yugi: Ummmm.hey Yami!  
  
Yami: Yea??  
  
Yugi: Lets go see what Joey & Tristan are up to?  
  
Yami: Hell, why not??  
  
*So Yami & Yugi go to the hospital* (Tristan was electrocuted.remember??)  
  
Yami: *standing right outside of Tristan's room* Do you hear that??  
  
Yugi: Hear what??  
  
Yami: *hears someone screaming* That voice!!  
  
Yugi: Sounds like, like Marik!!  
  
*Both rush in to see Marik whacking Tristan with a chair*  
  
Marik: AND DON'T YOU EVER *whack* EVER *whack* EVER *whack whackity whack* GO NEAR MY SISTER AGAIN YOU PERVERTED PIN HEAD*whack*! *chair breaks*  
  
Isis: *crying* Thank you *sniff* brother *sniff* *kicks Tristan in the nuts*  
  
Medical machine thingy: *blip, blip, BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*  
  
Tristan: X________________________________X  
  
All except Tristan: *singing* DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD! WHICH WITCH? THE WICKED WITCH! DING DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAAAAAAD!  
  
All: *stop singing*  
  
Yami: What happened anyways??  
  
Isis: Weeeeelllll...  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
Isis: Hi Tristan! I got you some flowers!  
  
Tristan: Thank you.  
  
Marik: Can we leave now???  
  
Isis: No Marik! Be patient! My G-EEK!! *is groped by Tristan*  
  
Marik: "GEEK"?? *looks at Tristan* YOU!!!!!  
  
*END FLASHBACK*  
  
Yami: Oh...  
  
Tristan: X___________________X  
  
Joey: Where is the author of this ficcy??  
  
Serina: *poofs in* Here!!  
  
Joey: Hmmmmmmmm.if I was an author, where would I go...  
  
Serina: JOEY! YOU IDIOTIC, ASSHOLE!!  
  
Mia: *not here* Joey is not an asshole!!  
  
Joey: Oh there you are Serina!!  
  
All except Joey: *anime fall*  
  
Marik: MY LOVE!!!! *clings to Serina's legs*  
  
Serina: AWWWWWW. ^___________________^  
  
Yami: "AWWWWWW"?? What's so cute about Marik??  
  
Serina: Dunno. He just. is.  
  
Marik: *curled up in a ball like a kitten*  
  
All except Y/M: AWWWW.^________________^  
  
Y/M: -_____-UUUUUU  
  
*At Ryou's house.*  
  
Y/B: *making chain letters to threaten the world* MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough hack cough*  
  
Ryou: *looks at screen* YAMI BAKURA!!!!  
  
*The screen reads.*  
  
Hello mortal being. I am your father and if you don't send this letter to 200 idiots in the next 2 minutes, your ass will get so big it will not only be hard to carry around but it will attract every single boy and girl to sexually harass you. Thanks and please remember, "No big ass isn't sexually harassed!"  
  
Ryou: *cursing in british* %&*# $@* &%& $#@!!!  
  
Y/B: Uh oh! *meep* AAHHHHH! *jumps out a window*  
  
Ryou: Works every time! Hahhahahaa!  
  
*So using Y/B screen name he typed up MORE chain letters.*  
  
Do you want to be a millionaire?? Well I'm Bill Gates and if you forward this to 9,000 of your buddies within 22 seconds you'll get a t-shirt and a nickel! Send this to 10,000 people in 10 seconds and you'll get your own herd of insane, perverted cows! Send this to 8,000,000,000 people in 3 seconds and you'll get an army of Strip-me-Pegasus chibis! Send this to Seto Kaiba and you get.$1.62! As for me. I'm a millionaire! See how easy that was?? Now if you delete this e-mail you'll fall into a pile of poo and be peed on by a rabid Mai! ^___^  
  
Serina: Whaddya think??  
  
Seto: I think it sux.  
  
Y/s: SETO JAMES KAIBA  
  
Seto: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!  
  
Serina: ^____^UUU R&R PLEASE!! 


End file.
